My Medication

I woke up in the very early hours this morning and slipped into the bathroom to take a half milligram of generic Klonopin (clonazepam). It was still extremely early, and I wasn’t ready to face the day. A half milligram puts me to sleep, and I’m prescribed to take it as necessary up to 3 full milligrams per day. I haven’t taken more than 2 milligrams in a day in a very long time.

I believe that the Strattera has something to do with that. I was complaining about not being able to concentrate, pacing in my apartment, and various other–what I realize now to be ADD–symptoms for more than a year to my doctor who wasn’t hearing me. I was finally forthright enough to stop answering his usual questions and stated plainly and emphatically that I was suffering greatly by not being able to sit for even 5 minutes and read 2 full sentences of any book. He gave me some samples of Strattera, and the change was almost immediate. I feel awake. I can sit still. I can read again, which is one of my dearest passions. Most importantly, I don’t use nearly as much of the anti-anxiety clonazepam as I used to.

My main medication for my bipolar disorder is Abilify. I take 15 milligrams. It works for me by controlling my symptoms.

In another post, I will write about what it’s like for me not to be on medication. Let me just say here that I get terrifying psychotic features. I take medication, because I cannot function without it. I cannot do the normal daily things that people without bipolar do without thinking. I can’t even brush my teeth. I shut down.

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