I saw my therapist today, and she liked my little ritual I performed yesterday to release negative emotions. That’s the one where I lifted my hands and said out loud, “To the Universe, I release the old feelings that are surfacing. I release the old fear. I embrace the love the Universe gives me. I bathe in the light of good.”
She had a great suggestion. I had done it sitting in my chair, and she thought it would be even more effective to stand, raise my arms, and say the words. I tried it in her office, and I have to say that stretching upward really seemed to work out a lot of kinks in my back. That has to be good.
When I’ve been in the deepest, darkest pit of despair in the past, I’ve used positive affirmations even when I didn’t believe a word I was saying. I didn’t fake any special voice. I took the negative thoughts streaming through my mind and turned them into positives.
When “I’m worthless” popped into my head, I turned it into “There are people who love me.”
When I thought, “I wish I was dead,” I turned it around and said out loud, again lifting my hands and face upward, “Thank you for my life.” There were many times I really didn’t mean it, but I forced myself to say the positive.
I remember being so low once that all I could manage was to lie on the couch and sing, “La la la,” over and over again for about a minute. I say I was singing it, but trust me, it was not in a pretty voice. Still, it helped. I don’t know why, but it did. I was able to sit up and breathe and say to myself that this too would pass.
Depression is a disgusting thing. I hate it with all my might. It sucks out the core of my soul, and I will try any means necessary to keep from slipping back into its grip.
One thought on “Conscious Release of Depression 2”
The way you describe the process as RELEASE of depression is very empowering, though the process must seem muddy and sometimes incoherent. But I like that idea that it’s something that can be released, rather than being something I have to wait until it releases me…