It’s funny, but this blog’s most popular entry is about not being able to watch television because of my bipolar disorder. That particular entry is short and not helpful.
Last night I decided to sit down and watch a show that many of my friends talk about, and to give it a try again. I’m on some new medication, and I thought that perhaps it would help with my ability to concentrate.
I couldn’t do it.
I’m going to try to explain what it feels like. After switching on the television, I relax on the couch. I tried watching a comedy and was enjoying it. Then after about ten minutes, some glitch went off in my brain. I could feel it creeping up the top of my spine and invading my brain. It was like an electrical impulse, and I heard a buzzing in my ears. I immediately had to stand up and start pacing and stop watching the TV.
It’s really like the TV sets off a reaction in my brain that I can’t control, and the ability to focus is forced right out of my head. This is a problem for me when I’m on my medication and exercising regularly. It’s like an allergic reaction. I simply start to watch, and then signals get crossed, and my mind begins to race.
I hate it. Watching television should be pleasant. It should be fun. It should be diverting. Instead, it’s menacing.
Winning with Bipolar 
Maybe it’s not your bipolar condition that prevents you from watching television. I’m not bipolar and I can watch maybe 3 shows in their entirety without getting up and doing something while leaving the tv on, or turning it off, or changing the channel. So much of TV today is a waste of time. Maybe it’s your brain telling you you have more productive things you could be doing.
I admit that much of what’s on television is drivel, but this is a case of serious disability. I simply can’t concentrate. I’m having trouble reading, too. And the buzz in my brain I tried to describe is a physical sensation. I want to be able to relax sometimes and be a vegetable. I can’t. It’s enormously aggravating.
I’m sorry you’re feeling the brain buzz these days. Sending calm brain vibes from my hale to yours…
I read your most recent post, and backtracked to some older ones. Quite some time back, I ‘found’ you and made some comments, but got lost among other things, but still remember you as the one bipolar that seemed as severe as I with many of the exact symtoms and stresses.
I’m going out on a limb here, as I don’t know you outside of our shared disease, but regarding the television, I might have a suggestion. I actually prefer videos on my laptop (I’m downright neurotic about commercial television), but I never focus on the movies/shows. I occupy myself with another activity, however mundane. For instance, sketching…writing (in a journal, stories, poetry – anything), or even simple crafts, even easy novels. I use movies or televisions series (all DVD) as background entertainment, or ‘noise’, if you like. I cannot bear to just sit and watch motionless and unoccupied. I exibit the same sysptoms you do.
I also have a DEEPLY interesting question I would like to ask you, as we seem to have tremendously much in common. I would much prefer to communicate via email for this, if you would indulge me. My email is savannahpeach67@gmail.com. It is a tie in to the symtons you speak of hear, and I have never shared it with anyone else who even remotely understands. If you would rather, I can do it hear on WordPress, but would rather not.
I have never met a bipolar so like me….both in symptons and consistantly efforts to overcome.
I’ll be going on to read more recent posts.
Thanks!!!
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