It’s funny, but this blog’s most popular entry is about not being able to watch television because of my bipolar disorder. That particular entry is short and not helpful.
Last night I decided to sit down and watch a show that many of my friends talk about, and to give it a try again. I’m on some new medication, and I thought that perhaps it would help with my ability to concentrate.
I couldn’t do it.
I’m going to try to explain what it feels like. After switching on the television, I relax on the couch. I tried watching a comedy and was enjoying it. Then after about ten minutes, some glitch went off in my brain. I could feel it creeping up the top of my spine and invading my brain. It was like an electrical impulse, and I heard a buzzing in my ears. I immediately had to stand up and start pacing and stop watching the TV.
It’s really like the TV sets off a reaction in my brain that I can’t control, and the ability to focus is forced right out of my head. This is a problem for me when I’m on my medication and exercising regularly. It’s like an allergic reaction. I simply start to watch, and then signals get crossed, and my mind begins to race.
I hate it. Watching television should be pleasant. It should be fun. It should be diverting. Instead, it’s menacing.