I can’t watch television: 2

It’s funny, but this blog’s most popular entry is about not being able to watch television because of my bipolar disorder. That particular entry is short and not helpful.

Last night I decided to sit down and watch a show that many of my friends talk about, and to give it a try again. I’m on some new medication, and I thought that perhaps it would help with my ability to concentrate.

I couldn’t do it.

I’m going to try to explain what it feels like. After switching on the television, I relax on the couch. I tried watching a comedy and was enjoying it. Then after about ten minutes, some glitch went off in my brain. I could feel it creeping up the top of my spine and invading my brain. It was like an electrical impulse, and I heard a buzzing in my ears. I immediately had to stand up and start pacing and stop watching the TV.

It’s really like the TV sets off a reaction in my brain that I can’t control, and the ability to focus is forced right out of my head. This is a problem for me when I’m on my medication and exercising regularly. It’s like an allergic reaction. I simply start to watch, and then signals get crossed, and my mind begins to race.

I hate it. Watching television should be pleasant. It should be fun. It should be diverting. Instead, it’s menacing.

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7 thoughts on “I can’t watch television: 2

  1. Maybe it’s not your bipolar condition that prevents you from watching television. I’m not bipolar and I can watch maybe 3 shows in their entirety without getting up and doing something while leaving the tv on, or turning it off, or changing the channel. So much of TV today is a waste of time. Maybe it’s your brain telling you you have more productive things you could be doing.

    • I admit that much of what’s on television is drivel, but this is a case of serious disability. I simply can’t concentrate. I’m having trouble reading, too. And the buzz in my brain I tried to describe is a physical sensation. I want to be able to relax sometimes and be a vegetable. I can’t. It’s enormously aggravating.

  2. I read your most recent post, and backtracked to some older ones. Quite some time back, I ‘found’ you and made some comments, but got lost among other things, but still remember you as the one bipolar that seemed as severe as I with many of the exact symtoms and stresses.

    I’m going out on a limb here, as I don’t know you outside of our shared disease, but regarding the television, I might have a suggestion. I actually prefer videos on my laptop (I’m downright neurotic about commercial television), but I never focus on the movies/shows. I occupy myself with another activity, however mundane. For instance, sketching…writing (in a journal, stories, poetry – anything), or even simple crafts, even easy novels. I use movies or televisions series (all DVD) as background entertainment, or ‘noise’, if you like. I cannot bear to just sit and watch motionless and unoccupied. I exibit the same sysptoms you do.

    I also have a DEEPLY interesting question I would like to ask you, as we seem to have tremendously much in common. I would much prefer to communicate via email for this, if you would indulge me. My email is savannahpeach67@gmail.com. It is a tie in to the symtons you speak of hear, and I have never shared it with anyone else who even remotely understands. If you would rather, I can do it hear on WordPress, but would rather not.

    I have never met a bipolar so like me….both in symptons and consistantly efforts to overcome.

    I’ll be going on to read more recent posts.

    Thanks!!!

  3. Pingback: I Still Can’t Watch Television | Winning with Bipolar

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