I can feel the depression coming. It feels like soft fingers reaching into my skull and absorbing all the electrical impulses running between the synapses of my brain. The result is that I’m left unimaginably desolate and despairing. I clutch at breath. The few thoughts my mind could hold last night were not pretty ones. They were full of death and anguish.
So what did I do? I forced my daughters to play cards with me. I got outside my brain and into a game.
This morning I was not feeling good either. I still had the sadness. A friend emailed me, and I replied with my state of mind. He suggested I get out of the house and go for a walk at a park.
I did it. I actually did it.
I got out of my house and went to the park and walked for a mile. Am I cured? No. I think I’ll keep taking my medication, but I think I’ll keep up the exercise.
What can I say? If you’re stuck in those thoughts of black despair where no light reaches and if you’re unable to get outdoors, can you open the curtains? Can you allow just a little light in? Try it. Try doing one nice thing for yourself today. Just one.
4 thoughts on “I actually did it”
It is amazing how sunlight effects our mental well being. When I am feeling depressed or when I am sick, I try to go outside also. Great job in breaking out of that shell.
🙂 Thank you.
I have always said that I don’t know whether I actually feel better after exercise, or I feel better about myself, or a combination of the two. Nevertheless, I feel better after exercising.
In the end, I wonder if the “why” matters. We feel better, and that’s what counts.