I recently had an interaction on the internet with a person who is a casual acquaintance on a website we both happen to be members of. I do not know her in real life, and it’s highly unlikely that I ever will.

She posted a story that clearly demonstrated she’s living with a great deal of unresolved issues from a broken marriage. I left a one-sentence comment that she could resolve these old ghosts by seeking help through psychotherapy. Her reaction was not a complete surprise, but it demonstrates a wider problem in our world.

She was angry at my suggestion. She was incensed that I thought she had a problem that needed help. To her, living with old wounds is simply a part of life, and using psychotherapy is a weakness. She is living with a great deal of stigma against mental health difficulties as  evidenced by this reaction. In a world where mental health is stigma-free, she would not be defensive. Rejecting psychotherapy shows internal stigma against openly recognizing the value in receiving help to overcome mental issues.

The truth is it requires great strength to admit the problem exists and then to reach out for help. It requires courage, too. I have to recognize that I have something inside me that needs resolution, and I can best resolve it with outside help. In our world that devalues seeking help for mental health instead of simply pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps, the act of reaching out for help is a sign of strength and maturity.

Harboring unresolved issues about past pain is weakness. It also shows a lack of self-worth. If we truly value ourselves highly, we will take any necessary step to heal ourselves. If we do not believe ourselves worthy of good mental health, we will ignore our cries for help. We will tell ourselves we deserve to continue to hurt.

I can assure all who care to listen that it is possible to be free of pain from the past. It is possible to resolve old issues and live free and clear. It is possible to rid ourselves of our baggage. It is possible to heal our demons.

I know it’s possible, because I did it. If you search the old posts on this blog, you will see that I was mired in pain. I can state honestly today, that I am free of that old pain. I did the work necessary to heal. It was hard work, and it required courage to be open and vulnerable. Now when I feel pain, I have the tools necessary to heal it right away. I don’t let it become old. I keep myself free. I breathe clearly each day.

If you have old pain from the past, recognize it, and allow yourself to be brave enough to seek help.