I’m concentrating very hard on walking through one day at a time. Sometimes, it’s one step at a time.
I had an excellent meditation early this morning. I lost some of the peace when I went through some morning events. I was able to walk down to the cathedral during a short morning break. A quick meditation there brought back the calm.
Dating has turned my routines topsy turvy. I’m not reading on the bus in the morning. I’m texting him. It’s delightful, but routine helps aid stability in people with bipolar disorder. So I’m learning to live with the disruption. I’m trying to feel my way through the new energies that lack the old routines. It requires a lot of maneuvering to get through these energies.
The dance of my life has been staid for a very long time. I’m learning new dance moves, and this requires a lot of allowing. I have to allow newness to enter. I have to allow new people to come into my space. I had a very predictable set of daily habits that are bending and warping to the newnesses.
For the past week, I’ve been meditating on walking through it. I start each meditation with the intention of finding the energy to just walk. I’m walking through the new one step at a time. Just walking. Just one step. Each step does not carry the thought of the subsequent steps. Just one. Just this one. This single step.
I can breathe through this newness one step at a time. I don’t have to think about future breaths. Just this one breath. Just this one.