I started writing this blog 8 years ago. I’ve been through a lot in that time.
I experienced dire pain that I thought would never end. I walked through it.
I lived with the dawning of hope, and I walked through the pain until I got past the dawn to the reality of the hope itself.
I found deep healing.
I am at a turning point that I could not imagine even a few short years ago. As I announced on March 12, 2018, I am dating a man. It has been very exciting. We have had two arguments. We talked each one through to resolution. I have forced myself to walk through the maelstrom of emotions all this new energy has brought up in me.
I’ve been going to my therapist weekly, but I’m back on a normal schedule of every other week. He’s kept me clear.
I do extra grounding visualizations in my morning meditations now. Staying rooted to the ground I walk on keeps me steady.
I’ve started exercising again, and it feels wonderful. I’m back to speed walking 2.5 miles every day. I want to be in top form because it means I’m closer to him.
And I’m at a turning point. It started when I realized I was nervous about the relationship. It has become important, and I don’t want to lose it. I wasn’t able to see him for 4 days, and it seemed like an eternity, and I ached. I think of him, and I get this feeling in my chest right around my heart.
I’m in love.
It’s the most incredible thing in the world. I want to share it, and I want to hide it. I want to tell everyone, and I want to whisper it to just a select few after they promise not to tell another soul. I want to cry. I want to run.
Life has many questions, and none of the scare me at all.