Reflecting

I had a number of really unpleasant days recently, and then yesterday morning, I woke up feeling good. The change was literally overnight. What happened? I wish I knew the answer so I could bottle it and sell it.

Here’s what I know.

While I was feeling down, I concentrated on the certainty that it was temporary. I was positive the negative feelings would pass, and they did.

In the middle of that malaise, I continued to use the tools I have to help myself feel better. I got extra help from my therapist. I used the medication I have been prescribed as directed. I continued my daily meditation routine. I ate well. I got as much good sleep as possible. I continued exercising. Basically, I continued doing the things that I know work for me.

I didn’t sugar coat anything. I was hurting, and I didn’t lie to myself pretending I felt good. I allowed the pain to have its space all the while knowing it would pass. The pain was not permanent. I was sure of that. I didn’t lie to my friends either. When asked, I told them the truth. To strangers who asked, I lied. I see no contradiction in that. It’s healthy to maintain boundaries with people. Strangers don’t need to know the details of my life.

It’s quite possible one of the reasons I woke up feeling good was that I did the work to process the memories that made me feel bad. I did that in therapy and by reaching out to a trusted person whom I could share the details with. I let it all come out in therapy, and I told the trusted person the reasons for the pain. I have learned after many decades in therapy that when I share the pain or fear, it loses its power.

That’s it. There’s no magic. I maintained my routine and kept walking through the stuff. I kept walking. One footstep at a time.

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4 thoughts on “Reflecting

  1. I love following your blog. I feel as though you’re a brother. It’s quite bizarre (and fascinating) how our moods seem to coincide.
    I often wonder if astrology and/or some common thread connects those of us with bipolar disorder? I truly do feel people who are living with bipolar disorder have incredible abilities (when honed) to communicate; be it through their personal talents/skills/gifts.
    I’m starting to wonder – since so many have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder – is it really a disorder? Please allow me to elaborate; perhaps this world/universe is simply creating more of what it needs to ensure a type of
    “Homeostasis”? Something to ponder.
    I’ve had so many dreams where we’re all so connected & incredibly more powerful (especially when we focus on love). My hope is more people, regardless of their challenges, chose to live more honest, mindful lives – practicing more “Pay It Forward” acts; and in my “perfect world” – less focus on monetary wealth & stuff and more focus on community, family, and of course the pursuit of global environmental sustainability.
    ~Peace and Love~

    • I’m so glad you like the blog. I can’t explain why it connects so well with you any better than you can. Maybe it’s just a sign of the times. I hope we get some of that good stuff going on that you mentioned. I have my fingers crossed for us.

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