Good News, Old News

My boss retired back in the early spring. As part of the change, there was a restructuring, and my position started reporting to a new level in the hierarchy. Lots and lots of change, and I went through some stress because of it. I took some sick time and was able to recuperate.

Yesterday, the replacement was announced, and it’s good news. My position will still report to the level determined in the restructuring. Having a new big boss is good for the organization. This will allow us to move with clarity. It will also allow me to focus on a few projects that need attention.

I wish my personal life was settled. I feel adrift. Very old feelings are surfacing. I know this is a good sign in reality. It means I’ve healed a lot of the other stuff that accumulated over the years, so now I’m dealing with the real fundamental issues from early childhood. This stuff is deep-seated.

I’ve been brutally honest in writing this blog over the years, so I’m just going to blurt it out. (I’m not looking for advice, nor fishing for compliments.) I feel unlovable.

I know where it’s from. I also know it’s not true, but that doesn’t help. There it sits. It sits right in my guts. Embedded there.

Today, I’m just going to let it sit there. I’m busy with work, so that helps. I have a check-up with my doctor for some routine stuff. I’ll go home after work and sit around the house.

I know these blues will pass. That’s the key for today. These feelings aren’t permanent.

Today, I’ll be blue. Tomorrow, I’ll be cheerful.

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